Sunday, June 06, 2010

Puns for those with a higher IQ

People who know me well know I love puns. Maybe you do too.

Cartoon Credit — treebeard31 blog on Wordpress

  1. Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
  2. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
  3. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
  4. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
  5. Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.
  6. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
  7. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
  8. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
  9. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
  10. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
  11. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
  12. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
  13. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
  14. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)
  15. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  16. In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
  17. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
  18. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
  19. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
  20. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
  21. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
  22. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
  23. Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.
  24. Every calendar's days are numbered.
  25. A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.
  26. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
  27. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
  28. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
  29. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
  30. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
  31. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
  32. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

My favorite of all of these is the 27th one and hope it applies to me. Instead I take pictures like crazy.

My thanks go to Mary. Believe me, I was flattered!

1 comment: